NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—After watching its Vice-Presidential pick on the campaign trail over the weekend, the Romney campaign today issued the following confidential memo to Representative Paul Ryan (R., Wisc.): http://nyr.kr/Pj17nF
I feel like I’m smart enough to know how stupid I am, but not smart enough to fix it. Ensue frustration.
We know how much of the story of Bilbo Baggins, the Wizard Gandalf, the Dwarves of Erebor, the rise of the Necromancer, and the Battle of Dol Guldur will remain untold if we do not take this chance. The richness of the story of The Hobbit, as well as some of the related material in the appendices of The Lord of the Rings, allows us to tell the full story of the adventures of Bilbo Baggins and the part he played in the sometimes dangerous, but at all times exciting, history of Middle-earth.
So, without further ado and on behalf of New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Wingnut Films, and the entire cast and crew of “The Hobbit” films, I’d like to announce that two films will become three.
It has been an unexpected journey indeed, and in the words of Professor Tolkien himself, ”a tale that grew in the telling.”
Let’s face it, nerds. This was inevitable.
